What Does it Mean When Your Husband or Boyfriend Treats ... I have to do something about this. What makes you think he'd treat you better if you were his wife? So often, I heard my abuser tell me that I was “acting crazy” and that everything was “all in my head.” I would tell him that he doesn’t treat me well, and he would proceed to deny all of the accusations I was making about him. While on the other hand, they feel guilty about causing so much emotional pain in you. One day they are so loving and kind and the next mean and cruel. Your ex just like mine is using them for validation. I wouldn’t answer bc i knew it was him. So hard to understand why someone i loved so much treated me so poorly and why i put up with it for so long and why its so hard to let it go. Treats me terrible. It has really helped me. Little of such things has to do with you but with the person who is treating you poorly. The magic of abusive relationships is how the perpetrator... Why did my ex treat me so badly but he's so good to his new g/f? I did nothing to him to deserve it. I was in a lot of pain and blaming my ex-wife in the immediate aftermath of her leaving. And when they do, these questions often plague our mind for so long with such intensity that we frequently begin to question even our own rationality. You’ve seen him at parties or run into… My ex was my world, and I wanted to be in a relationship with her. So clearly this would be contributing to her saying these things about me, but i also think what i said was not tactful but it was justified considering what she did to me. Learn a lesson from this. One of most common mistakes that men make in a marriage is to believe that the way to a happy marriage is to let his wife “take charge” and effectively “rule the roost.”. 1. Why Do I Miss Him Having to cope on your own and do the things they used to do around the house can shine a spotlight on the fact that they are gone. Essentially, your ex has decided to break up with you, but because they still have feelings for you and know you’re a good person… they hate the idea of having to hurt you or cause you emotional pain by breaking up. Both of my parents were alcoholic's. selfish. Someone who they could control and manipulate. Vol. Below are 4 helpful tips for how to respond when someone treats you badly – so you teach this person that you won’t accept their negative behavior. When someone cheats or mistreats you, it almost never has anything to do with you. In essence, you give permission and imbue people with knowledge of how you want to be treated. Polly: Why Does My Terrible Ex Get Why Is My Ex So Mean To Me? 8 Signs of Bad Parenting That Every Parent Should Know ... Indeed, when many relationships end, there will be a level of bitterness on at least one party’s side. Let’s just called this “Clarity 101” because things are REALLY about to make sense. He never apologized for lying to me. They are going to do the crazy, stupid, incorrect things they are going to do. Why do I let him treat me bad? No matter what you do, don’t try to get her attention. I was a very bright kid in studies. Elder abuse is a problem that is frequently ignored, but sadly older people who are badly treated by their adult children are not alone. If i could just forget all the horrible things she has done to me. One way to quiet that voice is to attempt to make your spouse out to be the bad guy. Enemies lead separate lives and avoid interacting with each other. My I left him because he cheated on me when I was pregnant. If you are being abused by your adult children, then there are telephone hotlines and support systems across the country to help you, so take action immediately to keep the problem from getting worse. Just don’t pull the crybaby card in any way, shape or form. He even told me one night i dont deserve him becasue his past was so bad and had too much ahead for myself. Indeed, your ex might want to hurt as you broke up with him. No one wants to be thought of as the “bad guy” who goes and inflicts pain on someone else. Tagged as: The ex-factor << Previous question Next question >> Question - (30 June 2010) 4 Answers - (Newest, 30 June 2010) A female age 30-35, anonymous writes: My ex boyfriend was very abusive to me. The only person you can control is you. It is possible that your ex is not over caring for you. my ex treated me horrible, she said alot of mean things and even tried to pick up guys right in front of me after we broke up to make me jealous. When people treat you as if you are crazy, it isn’t because they think you are crazy, it is because they want YOU to think you are crazy. We may still think of that dream we had of being with our ex with three children in a new house, keeping us ‘in love’ with them. My ex-husband still hates me after 9 years of divorce. He is very mean to me and he lies endlessly. I do say that my son still loves me and has told me that he understands now why i had to do what i did just to save myself, he is the one bright light and hope in my life. But take my example as a sign of a messed up point of view. The guy I cheated with never spoke to me again because he felt so bad for contributing to the ending of my marriage. He might then think to himself, “I don’t understand why my ex is being so mean to me. I was just speaking with a coachee who came to me saying, “I don’t understand. In ways you would never want to imagine. probably because he is an abuser and it is what abusers do because abuse is the issue they can either get attracted to abusers or will attract some... I thought he was so different. my ex had a rough past of being cheated on so i understood where his trust issues came from. 8. I need and want relationships in my … I am just waiting on the day she finally leaves my home so i can really know that im free. So hard to understand why someone i loved so much treated me so poorly and why i put up with it for so long and why its so hard to let it go. But, I got no response. I get full of anger and sadness to why he treated me so badly, and still live under his invisible power of mind games and that “i was mean” and the smallest thing i did wrong i was punished for in astronomical proportions. This jerk does not deserve you. Or it could be we’ve accepted the situation, but found ourselves still connected to what ‘could have been’ if they did not treat us badly. Why do I miss him so much? This might sound totally bizarre, but it’s actually relatively common. Stay relaxed and cool at all times and don’t try to provoke her or manipulate her in any way right now. We met on tinder in 2017. My children were 1,2,3, and 5 years old. Till today those words still haunt me, those abusive names still haunt me.I always loved my parents a lot and they have no reason for them to treat me like this.Now after so many years when i ask my mother why did you do all of this to me? So he cut me off but he does call me private he called me 23 times one night. Add your answer to the question "Why did my ex treat me so strangely after we broke up, when she is the one that cheated? The people they treat good who treated them bad. So he texts me one day and asks me if I would like to meet for dinner at the Diner. After my oldest granddaughter was born my son started to be physically abusive to me. Here's the harsh truth: People can only treat you in ways you allow. How did I become this person who would allow herself to break someone’s heart so coldly? I have a hard time being friends toward people a lot of time they seem to give me attitude and I do not think that I have done anything wrong but mind my own business. Vol. And I was angry at everyone. I overvalue the relationship at the expense of my dignity. Of course, not every breakup is a simple one. I did so much for him! Stick To Your Guts. Found out he went bk to his ex gf. And what!y ex did to was evil and mental abuses and he was enjoying it because I have just lost and cried because the though he was big laugh .And I was a great mummy . Pointer #1 – Don’t Contact Your Ex. Why Trying to Make a Guy Feel Guilty for Mistreating You Is a Waste of Time. Answer (1 of 2): Your ex never loved you. You are your own person. I had no interest in giving up. My wife treats me like crap when ever we are around other people so I will eventually distance myself from her at parties and get togethers. 18. A person can also feel guilty about how they handled the breakup. Edit: just to be clear I … This can certainly be an issue with getting back with an ex, old problems tend to arise and old arguments come back up to the surface. Your ex is really torn. Sheesh I barely got over the love of my life. We have dinner, it goes good. So your ex dumped you not too long ago, or maybe you left him. My ex-P treated me brutally, especially towards the end. What should I do because I am coming apart. She’s treating me like dirt. Your ex might not tell you flat out that he or she feels bad about what happened, but actions will always speak louder than words. Guilt is one of the heaviest emotions a person can carry, and it doesn’t just disappear overnight. It has a nasty habit of creeping in as time goes on and setting up shop. This is also another reason that your ex will treat you meanly or cruelly – because they see you in that light and feel that the only thing that you understand and respond to is meanness and cold interactions. The final step after that is for your ex to ghost you and possibly hate you. This is how I want you to treat me, and I like it. After what seemed forever I started to circular date. Instead of using my energy to take care of myself, I use it to protect the other person from feeling badly about hurting me. She will then be all back in love with me and treat me like she loves me just like those earlier years. You are good enough even when their actions may have you believe otherwise. I want him to feel bad for hurting me. It was so heartbreaking. He honestly cares more about himself then he cares about you. My husband is awful to me. Thanks for this website. He was cruel when your grandfather died. So I called several more times over the course of a few weeks. My ex gf is the same. I'm like her dumping grounds for all her anger. She even told me this flat out" who else am I supposed to take my anger out o... both of them pretend as if they don't remember anything but I STILL DO. Maybe if I’m even nicer to her from now on, she’ll stop being so mean and she’ll see that I’m a good guy. do i want my ex back test. Someone else’s … And he is willing to look past the way they treated him in hopes that they look past the way he treated you. He has bad mouthed me so much that his wife says awful things about me to my granddaughters. The ex husband is going through a divorce and living with my narc daughter. If I say something he doesn’t like I can’t see them. The last thing you want to do is make things worse. So sometimes when he is mean to you, this is his way of distancing himself. She’s treating me like dirt. They have to pick up … You’ve pondered the idea of getting back together, but your ex is acting weird. So here are the five things I’ve learned from my past failed relationship. I know I don’t deserve this. Seek a partner you can be yourself with and is easy to be close to. We ended with something funny and nice and that’s it. Treats me terrible. So then we just started talking as friends for about 2 months every now and then because we both still care about each other. How To Make Your Ex Regret Leaving You. If he argues, ditch him. but over time it seemed to just be getting worst. Well, there are various possibilities for this. Already have an account? However, this can also turn bad. Stop wondering: why does my boyfriend hate me, and start showing him who’s boss! All I can say is that it was horrible. First and foremost of course it may be that your husband is just an unfeeling and … You can usually tell an ex is dealing with conflicted feelings by how they go back and forth. So, if your ex STILL treats you badly or disrespects you in any way, you tell him that that is unacceptable. He might then think to himself, “I don’t understand why my ex is being so mean to me. 1 represented the first time I began learning to accept responsibility for my very large role in destroying the marriage. For the best possible experience we recommend using Chrome Firefox or Microsoft Edge. A lot went wrong on your ex’s end that made him look at the relationship from a different perspective. This can be bad for a relationship that just wasn’t meant to be. The problem with an ex hating you is it’s so easy for them to have such a strong negative reaction toward you simply because they once had strong positive feelings for you. 4. He had told our son that he hopes I die from covid and calls me all kinds of names constantly and his wife is a part of it also. This can certainly be an issue with getting back with an ex, old problems tend to arise and old arguments come back up to the surface. The best way to let a guy know he cannot treat you badly is to walk away. 9. I have to do something about this. Don’t try to get her attention. You already know that fact. 2. So we contacted High priest tokubo who told me all I needed to do and i give him a trial. So this tendency to get pulled back in makes it difficult to forget your ex and break out of the negative breakup cycle where you separate…..then get back together gain….then he hurts you again leading you to breakup once more. I'm sorry, I know that it is so hard to hear but it is the truth. Because if you admit that your spouse is a decent person who is loyal and loving, then you really must be jerk to betray them in this way. So in order to get the space they want and the breakup they want, your ex will try to make you an enemy since they feel that going the other route didn’t work. You can’t force them to do anything else. Their purpose or motive for the way that they treat you is actually about what serves them much … I did. Every.Single.Time you play happy clapper friends with an ex that mistreated you, you’re saying I love you more than I love myself and you didn’t actually treat me as badly as you know or I know you did, because if you did, there’s no way in hell I should be giving you the time of day let alone anything else. He is remarried now. Now, if you’re wondering, “Does my ex feel guilty for hurting me,” chances are that yes, they do. I did not let my emotions control the situation. Thanks for this website. Comfort is a very valuable thing to get if you are expecting your first child.From this article you can see, how to know if your man loves you quiz these you can purchase online and take at home to verify maternity are good for many factors. My kids have very few rules, but the rules they have are hard and fast. I dont deserve him becasue his past was so bad and had much. So I called several more times over the course of a few weeks, but I couldn t! 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